Wilderness

The Restlessness

When this post is published, I will be on a plan crossing the Atlantic headed to Uganda.

Six months ago I attended Catalyst Dallas, a conference for Christian leadership. I had to ask myself multiple times what the heck I was doing there. Leader? Yeah right.

But I went. I expected great things from the conference, but I did not expect this. I did not anticipate the restlessness that God would put in my heart. I never would have predicted this trip.

And to some degree I have to ask myself why I have never done this before?

The answer is Resistance.

There is a force that is trying to keep us from doing more. There is a resistance that we meet anytime we try to get outside of our safety zones.

Steven Pressfield coined the term the Resistance. Seth Godin refers to it as our lizard brains. Others call it laziness. The church calls it Satan. The semantics make very little difference because it is there.

Once I made the decision in Dallas to do “something” I have not looked back. I have plotted. I have strategized. I have planned. And I have prayed.

But as I started packing this week, the resistance came, and I was surprised by what it felt like.

Whatever name you give it, it is there to prevent us from taking risk.

From doing more.

The Safety

The Resistance started reminding me of things that I like and how this trip would mean leaving those precious items at home.

I like clean, running water.

I like having reliable electricity. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I like a world without malaria.

I really like clean clothes. And washing machines that make it easy to get them that way.

I love hearing my eldest son Jesse tell me the stories he has written about aliens and transformers and his friend Benji.

I love Noah’s faux hawk.

I love good night kisses with my big girl Mari Alice. I love chasing and tickling my baby girl Grace.

I love snuggling next to my wife, curled up in a blanket together in our log cabin nestled in the woods.

I love the idea that Christianity is about me going to church on Sunday. Singing songs that are uplifting. Meeting on Tuesday nights with our small group and enjoying times of fellowship and prayer.

photo by Stella Bogdanic (stock.xchng)

The Wilderness

My own sense of the resistance was telling me to keep God on these terms. My pleasure. My personal growth. My comfort.

All of these things are good. It is good to want them. It is fun to enjoy them.

But living in a relationship with God is so much more. I don’t know what that looks like for you. But for me it means this trip to Uganda. It means leaving these things behind. For 2 weeks it means letting go of my comfort and trusting him.

In some ways I am headed to a dessert. Wandering in a wilderness.

Trusting that God will meet me there.

Have you ever felt Resistance? Tell me your story by leaving a comment.