Confession #48: I sold all of your stuff

We had a going away party for someone this past Sunday at our house. Once everybody left and we started cleaning up the mess, we found some stuff that did not belong to us.

As I looked at each item I imagined that there must be a story about why it was left behind. What made each thing forgettable?

• The iPhone – This one is obvious. It is clearly the 3GS model which is so 2010. I suspect that someone is simply looking for an excuse to upgrade. “Accidentally” losing your old phone is a great way to suddenly find yourself needing a newer model.
• The cowboy hat – Sadly, the hat was used as a skit prop during the party. Two thoughts on this come to mind. It must have been a strange skit and today there is some poor boy out there looking for his favorite hat. It makes it difficult to play cowboys and indians without the right attire.

• The matchbox car – This car is done for. Nobody will ever notice that it is missing, since every boy has a million that look just like it. Its days of being crashed into cars that look just like it are over. It will be replaced without anyone ever realizing that it was ever gone.
• The purse – The reason for the purse being left is hard to guess. What I am certain of, though, is that at some point there was fight about it. “Why did you make me forget my purse?” “Why is it my fault you left your purse?” “You didn’t remind me to get it did you?” “Well I am not about to drive over in the middle of the night to pick it up!” “How am I supposed to go to work in the morning without my purse? Are you going to call my boss and tell him why you didn’t go get it?” “Okay, okay, I’ll get the stupid purse.”
• Baby items -I do not mind the baby foot container and bib being left at all. I completely understand how any busy mom with an infant would forget items like these. I am just incredibly grateful that she did not leave the baby.
• The pink watch – If I owned that, I would leave it too.
• The denim jacket – Leaving a denim jacket behind is the Christian equivalent to leaving behind more intimate clothing apparel such as a bra. Someone came cold but left hot. It must have been a good party.
• Empty salad bowl – Maybe a vegetarian discovered the taste of meat. I am guessing bacon. Everybody loves bacon.
• The dirty socks – This a strategy by some parent to decrease their laundry load. When the socks get impossibly dirty to clean, just take them off and leave them wherever you happen to be. Those things were filthy.

The reason for the party was to celebrate one of our pastors leaving to go plant a new church. Tom has been a good friend and a faithful elder. If you live in the Cleveland are you should check out his new church. Actually you will have to wait until he gets there and gets it started, but you can learn about whats going on through his website for Fellowship Church Cleveland.

If any of this stuff is yours, please leave me a comment below and let me know. If you left the socks, then do not bother. We threw them away.

What item have you lost that you regretted the most?