Although I do not say cuss words (except maybe when I am driving and am alone in the car), I have to ask what makes language obscene? Is it the word or is it our hearts?

In the sixth grade I started using cuss words. Something happened during the summer between fifth and sixth grades. In fifth grade I used incredibly acceptable words like dang or shoot or sugar foot. Nobody turned their heads completely around when I would get upset and say these things. Nobody threatened to wash out my mouth with soap. But then in the sixth grade I had to prove that I was growing up and I did this with my words.
What changed that summer? Not much really. I experienced a peer pressure in middle school that was much more intense than it was in elementary school, and everybody else was cussing, so I did too. Nothing much had really changed in me though. Despite the expletives I was pretty much the same kid, for good or bad.

I became a Christian when I was fourteen years old. One of the ways that I feel I could see the change in my heart was that I stopped saying cuss words. As my lungs forced air between my vocal cords, my tongue no longer refined this sound into obscenities. I controlled my tongue extremely well. I placed not cussing on mychecklist and I did not say another cuss word for the rest of my life.

Although my vocabulary had changed, I kept saying cuss words in my mind and heart. They did not roll off my tongue, but they circled my brain.

Not only that, but if I became angry I would find ways to use acceptable words to express that same anger I had when I cussed. I would politely talk bad about other people. I would courteously belittle someone behind their back. With words that would be given a G rating I would use my words to destroy others. And then I would cuss in my head.

I am not necessarily encouraging Christians to develop potty mouths, just suggesting that we focus on the wrong problem. God is more interested in what we feel in our hearts and what our intentions are with the words than the specific word that we used.

I do not understand the concept of cuss words. Society has chosen to have words that we should not say, so then why do the words exist if we should not say them? Who decided that they should not be used? If we did not place them into this category, would anybody say them?

Maybe cussing is not the worst thing we can do with our tongues.

Do you cuss either in your heard or with your mouth?

 
  • Luke

    Nice post. I’ve come to believe there is no such thing as ‘bad language’. There is certainly ‘corrupt communication’ or ‘unwholesome talk’ (Ephesians 4:29), but the unwholesomeness does not originate with the words; rather, with the use of the words (and the heart-meaning behind the words).

    I grew up as a preacher’s kid and never dreamed of using ‘bad words’; I wouldn’t even use euphemisms like ‘gosh’ or ‘heck’ because I was so sure it was as ‘wrong’ as if I were using the real words.

    My perspective has changed slowly. Several ‘bad words’ have now entered my vocabulary, though I don’t use them around other people. I still don’t use ‘God’ or ‘Jesus’ as a ‘cuss-word,’ because, although I have become convinced that such use does not violate the Third Commandment, it still doesn’t sit well with my conscience to use those names in such a way.

    I think it’s crucial to be sensitive, though. I know several people who have really struggled with using profanity; to them it’s a heart issue. I respect that and (hope) I would never look down on those who decide it’s better to never let those words escape their mouths.

    But I guess I’m digressing, a little bit, from the focus of your post. The point is that we can ‘cuss’ in our heads without ever saying a word, and we can ‘cuss’ in our words without ever saying anything taboo. Kinda like what Jesus says about how we can commit murder or adultery in our heads. The attitude of the heart is what matters the most.

  • jostatton

    I agree with you Luke. I do not think the substance of the word matters much, its more of an issue of how we use words. Thanks for checking out the blog. The site crashed on me this morning, so I am glad to see at least someone read it was able to comment.

  • Adam

    I agree with both of you that this issue is about the attitude of our hearts.

  • jostatton

    Thanks Adam, but I have to ask, does this mean its okay to cuss? My post seems to be saying it is, but I’m not sure.

  • Adam

    Phillipians 4:8 says the following. And now dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

    So let’s use that verse as a test. At my job, the person who works at my machine before me has done a number of things wrong (much to my frustration). He set up the job incorrectly, he left parts lying around, he put something in the wrong place, etcetera.

    Now I have a choice to not entertain any of the thoughts I have of yelling at him or hanging him by his toenails from a rafter. I also have the choice to entertain those thoughts (“That idiot, he can’t do anything right, what a jerk,”) [G-rated].

    If I choose the latter, is it true? Well, yeah, the guy made a lot of mistakes. Is it honorable (to God)? Nope. Is it right? Nope. Is it excellent and praiseworthy? Again, no it isn’t.

    Is it becoming a catalyst for something to spew out of my mouth later? Absolutely.

    God makes it clear that this stuff starts out in the heart. What’s more, what comes from our mouth about anything starts in our heart. Is everything we say in our day to day living going to be true, honorable, right, excellent, and praiseworthy? Of course not. Is cussing ever any of these things? No.

    Lunch is ready. : )

  • jostatton

    That’s a great example. Thanks for sharing. I think one of the biggest issues about cussing is the distraction it creates. It may not be the issue, but if we cuss, we might distract people from what we are really trying to tell them, and hopefully that is somehow something about Jesus. I don’t really care if people cuss, but there is an issue about our hearts and not just seeing controlling our tongues being about not saying cuss words.

  • Adam

    Oh, absolutely. Isn’t the gospel message facing enough obstacles without our distractions getting in the way? I also keep thinking about those verses about how you shouldn’t eat certain things if your brother is offended by them.

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