I bribed my kids: Confession #71

By On July 18, 2011 · 17 Comments

We have a Sunday morning tradition at our house. We eat Pop-Tarts for breakfast.

There are many reasons to eat Pop-Tarts. They taste great. Preparing them is easy enough that I can feed the kids. You can even eath them on your way to church.

Did I say they taste great?

Despite these obvious reasons, our tradition began because of another. Our kids needed to have fun on Sundays.

We noticed early on that our two oldest never looked forward to church. We would wake them up to get them ready and they were always disappointed as soon as we told them what day of the week it was.

Maybe it was the ridiculous outfits we put them in. If you strongly believe that the clothes you wear to church matter, then you tend to put your small children in the same kind of ridiculous outfits that you wear as an adult.

Jesse, Noah, and Mari Alice circa 2005

 

Maybe it was the solemnity and length of the services. We believed that one of the best ways to prove to God that you were seriously devoted to him was by having multiple long services. Nothing comes less natural for small children than sitting still and being quiet for an hour and a half.

Maybe we just tortured our children to try to prove to ourselves how much we loved God.

I can only imagine how their 4 year old minds processed the concept of God. When permitted to speak, they were expected to recite catechism. And despite having them recite verses stating that God is merciful and loving their imaginations no doubt led them to believe that he was boring and uncomfortable.

When I read the passage of Jesus telling the disciples to let the children come to him, I do not picture children standing in line, keeping their hands to themselves, quietly waiting their turn. Instead I imagine kids with Pop-Tarts all over their hands, climbing all over him, laughing and smiling and having fun.

So instead of waking them up saying, “We get to go to church today,” we woke them up saying, “It’s Sunday, we get to have Pop-Tarts for breakfast.”

Did you hate going to church as a kid? What can we do to make church more fun today? Share your ideas here.

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  • Zoe

    Oh I love this!!! Hee hee hee… In our church, the kids have a whole lot of fun playing outside, and though I don’t have kids, our best friends do, and they beg and plead with their parents to go to church!!!  Love it!!

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      I don’t understand why church can’t be fun. Yes we need to talk about Jesus, but we don’t have to make ourselves miserable.

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      I don’t understand why church can’t be fun. Yes we need to talk about Jesus, but we don’t have to make ourselves miserable.

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      I don’t understand why church can’t be fun. Yes we need to talk about Jesus, but we don’t have to make ourselves miserable.

  • http://bernardshuford.tumblr.com Bernard Shuford

    I so completely “get” this.  My son told me yesterday that sometimes he hates Sundays.  :(  Thanks for a good idea.

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      I love his honesty. If only adults could feel the freedom to be that honest.

      • http://bernardshuford.tumblr.com Bernard Shuford

        Sometimes I hate Sundays, too. Or at least all the things we feel we “have”
        to do on Sundays.

  • http://jonstolpe.wordpress.com Jon Stolpe

    You know I think most adults feel this way too!  I grew up in a very traditional church background (for which I am thankful).  So when my wife and I started attending a new church that met at a movie theater and had a band and showed movie clips up on the screen, I wondered if we were heading into something “unsacred” or if this was legitimate.  I’m happy to say that we stuck it out.  I get it now!  Churches today must find ways to balance relevancy with the “traditions” that have prevailed for so long.

    I’ve been at churches where they want you to “Bring A Friend” on a particular Sunday, when there isn’t any effort to make church attractive for the unchurched.

    I’m sure our kids feel the same way.  God designed us to be creative.  And I’m convinced that we can use that creativity to make worship exciting and meaningful.

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      I like how you combine the ideas of exciting and meaningful. I also identify with the fear of doing something “unsacred.”

  • Greg Longtine

    I think that bribing your children with Pop-Tarts is terrible.  At least consider Krispy Kreme donuts or something that tastes like real food.

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      The key to the bribe is that the recipients are willing to sell their souls for it. My kids are cheap.

  • Anonymous

    I hated church as a kid. I never thought about it that way – that church gave me the impression that God was boring, but I think that’s true. 

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      Boring and scary and proper.

  • Cliff

    I can totally relate.  We want our kids to look forward to church, but they don’t.  It is not because they are not interested in Jesus, because they are.  It is because our kids don’t like sitting still for an our and a half and listening to a sermon that they don’t understand.  I felt the same way as a kid and felt like such a sinner for not loving church.  The practical question is how can church be fun for kids (and adults), spiritually nourishing, and glorifying to God at the same time. Not as easy as it sounds.  

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      I agree that it is not easy. I think the first step, though, is not being afraid of breaking established traditions. Many of our traditions are what make church painful at times. Its okay to move on with regards to some of these. Like you said, the key is discerning which ones to keep and which ones to toss.

  • http://www.jamiesrabbits.com Jamie

    I’m Southern Baptist and my Mom nurtures with food. So Sundays were nothing but happiness baked in a breakfast casserole dish.

    Plus, is there a better place to sleep than on a church pew? As a child, of course.

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      Thanks for pointing out that boring church has utility as a certain cure for insomnia.

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