A father unlike me

How do you define love?

Two days we said that love demands more than good enough. Love demands everything.

So, what do we mean by everything?

Your money? Your possessions? Your time?

Your family?

Your life?

As a father, I can begin to understand this love. A love that gives everything.

My feelings for my children seem inexplicable. I would do anything for them. I would go anywhere. Spend any amount of money. I say no to things I like and want to do.

I walk away from pleasure, comfort, ease or safety just for them.

And I felt this love the moment I saw them. The very second they first cried. The first night that they woke me up and it was inconvenient to give them what they wanted. The first time I was repulsed by a smell so strong not even a diaper could contain it.

The love is born from something different than most love. It has nothing to do with what they do. It has nothing to do with what they say or even how they feel about me.

It is a love born from desire. My desire for them.

But if I am honest, I don’t actually give everything. There are times when I become impatient. There are times when I become frustrated. There are times when I give less than what I could.

And I find that even my best love is unwilling to give everything.

And although I desire to do better, it makes me grateful that God is a father unlike me.

Grateful that grace is.